Post graduate life threw me off kilter a bit- after completing my Master’s Degree and working from home, I got in a creative rut.
I’ve kept really busy for the past few years with a major focus on school- completing big projects, joining teams and organizations, jumping from undergrad to graduate school. For the past 5 years, I’ve always been running from one project to the next, chaos and distraction was comfortable. I kept myself on a mental and emotional treadmill to hit my goals- but I assure you, I avoided an ACTUAL treadmill like the plague.
Exercise was always a distraction from the creative and mental work I enjoyed doing. To me, running or visiting the gym (with an exception for yoga) was an annoying disruption… I hated getting sweaty, I never had the right clothes & of course, starting from where I was at totally demotivated me.
In the last two weeks I hit a serious writer’s block. I was uninspired, tired and without direction. I came to realize not only did I need a new goal and challenge, but I realized the energy dedicated to creative endeavors was out of synch with the physical part of my life.
Today, I went on my first run in YEARS. After being around a good influence that loves to run, I invested in a good sports bra (finally, comfort!), running shorts, shirt & socks. The difference in material made running comfortable & it’s a challenge I’m ready for.
I came to realize that my experience with running in school was a negative one- it shaped my dislike for running. In grade school, I hit puberty pretty early and running in front of boys made me uncomfortable. Plus, getting hot and sweaty during gym class meant feeling disgusting in my day clothes during the rest of classes since we never had time for showers.
My genuine disdain for running was solidified when faced in school with the “one size fits all” approach to fitness by my school- you were expected to run the mile with the kids who did track after school. Running never made you feel good- if you were one of the slow kids (I was!) you felt like a piece of crapola knowing that the faster kids lapped you and gym teachers were yelling at you just to finish the run.
Today was only my first day of running- but it’s already turned my experience around. Of course I’m nervous that I won’t make this a habit, of course I’m still intimidated by the “profesh” runners that have all these intense routines, fancy duds and insane diets.
I’m going to take it at my own pace, without getting bogged down with all the information out there. I invested about $170 in clothing since I had absolutely nothing to work with, and that scared me. I didn’t want to be one of those people that goes out and drops gobs of cash on “good intentions,” feeling it necessary to get all the duds but never following through. After my first run though- I don’t regret it and having the right clothes made a world of difference!
I’m nervous but excited- I’ve never been an athlete. I don’t have a lot of money to spend on fancy running clothes, and even less experience. The thought of being sweaty used to put me off- but I think it’s time for change. Less thinking, more doing. More balance, greater endurance and different challenges.