This post has been a draft for over two weeks. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but I got scared. I wrote the title and sat there, watching the cursor blink at me for several minutes before I hit the “Save Draft” button and walked away from it. What good was setting basllsy audacious goals if I wasn’t going to ballsy and share it with you? So here it goes:
I’m past the point where I’m fascinated by shiny engagement rings or the prospect of finally getting that sexy little mixer on a wedding registry. What I really want is a worthy partner- THAT is what excites me. I want someone to build a life with, to wake up next to- to tackle the world together. I can buy my own damn jewelry- but seriously, finding someone who is willing to cope with my faults and bring out the best in me? That is something worth striving for. I want someone worthy of making the “I do” to.
I have had my share of fancy dresses, fabulous presents, cake shoved in my face with loved ones, I’ve been very lucky in that department thus far, so the wedding isn’t what excites me (yes, Tiffany is rather nice, and I can plan quite a shindig)…but finding the man that will be the Mentos to my Diet Coke to propel our lives into the next stage of awesomeness? I’m ready to shake it up.
Holy cr@p, that means I have like, three months???! This is where I need your help. Other than wanting Mickey Mouse inspired cupcakes and buying myself the much beloved Tiffany necklace I’ve been saving for (Silver anniversary..get it?25? eh???)
I would love to travel somewhere, or do something awesome and charitable, but what? Is Habitat for Humanity feasible in the July heat? Other problem- I don’t have a passport, but I could get one! I wish I could go deliver TOMS shoes to kids in Argentina or lend aid to a community in need here or abroad, but how? HELP? I want to have a journey of some kind…I do lots of fundraisers and have for years, which I love- but for 25, should I step out of my comfort zone and travel?
To be completely square with you, I barely make enough money now to stay afloat…luckily I have a buoy called “Dad” who keeps throwing me a line every once in awhile so I don’t sink while attempting to pay for grad school. While I’m eternally grateful, I realize I’m too old to solicit my dad’s monetary pity. I’m 24 years old, I should be making more money, even while in grad school.
As much as I’ve changed, the one common denominator is that I value community above all else. Coming together with people for a cause, or to improve lives is what gets me up in the morning. Part of my resentment towards the graduate program I’m in is because thus far, it has done nothing to enable my passion for community building and helping others. In fact, I see people drowning in debt and stress over it…and at times I have- and it makes me so mad!
I need to take the power back. I know I can do great things with a graduate degree- if only to teach me (the hard way) that our educational system isn’t functional. Until I get that degree though, I need to do what I love and earn some money doing it. I have had a few suggestions that I’m taking into consideration, but now that I’ve admitted to the world what I lack, I think I’ll need to speed up the thought process. (and I’m always looking for suggestions!)
So here it is: My OFFICIAL vision board. This year, it’s all about “worthiness.” I feel everyone is worthy enough to have love, wealth and prosperity, and you can’t be afraid of it and the work it takes to achieve it.
I know some people laugh at the idea of putting it on paper (like unmentionable-ex boyfriend), and yes, it totally makes me feel vulnerable (but isn’t it pretty?) but I thought it was worth sharing. Not only does it make me more accountable, but I hope it will help push you towards taking a risk in exposing your dreams and goals, no matter how silly or scary.
Well now that my cat’s outta the bag- What do you dream about but are scared to admit?