Chances are if you’ve been outside of a cave with reliable internet access for the past two years, you’ve picked up on the general “lifestyle design” buzz that has been telling us to quit your job, leave your cubicle and start your own business. Words like “freelancing,” “location independence,” “anti 9-5″ and “cubicle renegade,” are thrown around as if to wake the sleeping masses with a gallant call to action to free the oppressed, the sheep employees of corporate life.

I had my own business and recently chose to leave freelancing  in order to work in one of those “damned cubicles.” It’s the choice I needed to make and “going corporate” has been totally freeing.

Of course, with every craze- there are two sides to every coin. Many of my friends and colleagues have quit their traditional jobs and decided to strike it out on their own, to them, I have nothing but respect to convey.  They’re forging new trails off the beaten path and are valuable resources for those who dream of doing the same but need some guidance.   Some of my favorite bloggers have started their own businesses, but they made calculated moves and forged a plan.

What I will say though, is that beyond the wise trailblazers that have made big decisions and long term plans to shake up their careers, there are a dozen others who tout themselves as career renegade gurus or people that want to make a quick buck publishing books on the “passion craze” or are living off Google Adsense and affilate sales selling what people want to hear, not what they need to hear. “Quit your job and follow your passion” is much sexier and gets more attention than someone who touts a message of looking inward for fulfilling work in the life they already have.  Apparently even when it comes to careers,  the “Eat, Pray, Love,” idea of leaving it all behind and starting fresh seems so exotic, so enticing and it sells more career books than more traditional advice.  Heck, it even sounds better than “work your way up the corporate ladder,” but what they fail to mention is that sometimes, when you start over, you start from the bottom..many career shifters aren’t prepared for that.

Many “get rich online” and “follow your passion” gurus are rich simply because they’re talking about getting rich online/quitting the cubicle, not because they will help you make a plan to build a successful business.  Some (not all) “anti corporate” heroes make money because they sell you on an idea, not on a plan, and it’s a very profitable and popular idea.

I had a freelancing business for nearly two years and over time, I realized that while I loved the work, I didn’t love the lifestyle.   While freelancing provides unique freedoms, it does not always afford autonomy over your own work, which is one of the biggest selling points that many of the “quit your job” passion-fuelers base their claims upon.  If you want more control over your work, more freedom and more cool projects, trust me- freelancing isn’t the sexy catch all people claim it to be. It’s rewarding yes, but is it the only answer? Nope!

When it comes to starting your own business- the gurus seem to imply that having your own business is the ultimate freedom.  While anyone would assume there’s a downside to working for yourself,  it’s appealing to sell “hard work=freedom,” but shaky ground to tell potential business owners, Etsy sellers, potential nomads and possible freelancers that “sure, you can work from anywhere at whatever hours you want, but you’ll always be working!”

You start your own business to create more freedom- but it’s easy to feel as if you’re more tied to a desk and sometimes feels like you have even less control over the work you produce. If you’re not prepared for overdue invoices, clients that cancel work midstream (without pay) or have the savings in place to cover your tush during slow months, you’ll quickly see the dream evaporate.  My experience with running my own business was at times challenging, but it was very rewarding for the bulk of it- but as I grew older and my life changed (for the better) my needs for what work would be changed…and I found I actually found the freelancing lifestyle less and less appealing both personally and professionally.  Of course, that epiphany that I wasn’t satisfied was a very uncomfortable place to be-  while everyone else seemed to be wanting to quit their traditional  jobs, I wanted to find one.

I sensed over time that just because you’re passionate about your work, it doesn’t mean that creating your own business around it is the best way to create a career you love.

I recently read the book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You:  Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love by Cal Newport, Newport discusses the plight that impacts many people that “follow their passion.”  Some hope that starting their own business will finally lead to fulfillment (because they’ve been told it will), but end up chasing a mirage. The problem isn’t the passion or the idea that their work doesn’t align with their passion, it’s a lack of other factors that make work truly rewarding- autonomy, value, freedom and a few other tangibles.   Many employees feel powerless in their jobs and their lack of fulfillment isn’t a lack of passion, it’s a lack of control..sadly, many don’t realize that “striking it out on your own” doesn’t always lead to the types of control you want, nor will “passion” be enough to make you happy, pay your bills or fall in love with your work.

I had been struggling with the decision to get a “job” for a long time (nearly a year) and had doubted my decision to throw it the towel on my freelancing business to work for an employer.  At times, I felt like a fluke, like a quitter, that this magic elixir of being self-employed didn’t do what it was supposed to do- lead to full-time bliss for part-time work.  I began to realize that people with a traditional job could be happy, they could be fulfilled and they didn’t have to strike it out on their own if they knew what to look for, what to demand of themselves and if they put in the time to find an employer who resonated with their values.

After months of stomach aches, indecision and feeling like a “passion failure,” I finally, and excitedly, accepted a job offer to do social media freelancing for one client (an employer) instead of keeping up the juggling act of several.  I realized I loved the work but needed it in a different context-  the “freedom” of freelancing began to feel claustrophobic, as I became a hermit tied to my computer all day… not at coffee shops, not at bookstores, by myself, in my home office.  I wasn’t meeting new people, I was working all the time and I found that there was a disconnect between how I viewed my work and what my clients wanted (or heck, were willing to pay).  I was growing weary of invoices months overdue (whereas credit cards and car payments always arrive on time) and my skills and abilities in the social media field began to feel stagnate as I began doing whatever would pay the bills, not what would advance my career.

Freelancing isn’t bad- it’s just not the magic pill everyone expects it to be.  Following you passion or hating your current job isn’t enough to be successful in your work.  Passion fades but commitment to a craft does not.  You may find that the way you execute you work (like the company you work for or the position you have) diminishes over time, but your love, or your calling for the work itself stays strong.  Be wise about what you quit on- be sure if you love the work, not the job, you’re making a solid choice on how to carry out that work, not just blindly “hate jobs.”  There may may be consequences you don’t intend (like becoming a hermit) or you may find it’s helpful for a time, but not a permanent lifestyle.   It helped me get through graduate school and even lead me to snag the job I have now, but as with anything- it has a time and a place.

Before you go all in and quit your job, make sure you’ve done your research, saved up an emergency fund, built a solid client base and you have the heart and hustle to make it work. I’d also recommend you do a serious assessment of your current career and your actual job to see why it lacks and if the things you’re missing from your daily work would actually be solved by flying solo.  If you’re valuable enough to your company, they may be willing to work with you- if not, be brave and find a company that will let you do work you love in a context that addresses your needs.

I don’t have any beef with freelancing, but I do worry about people that chase the freelancing mirage hoping it will somehow fulfill a void in their life.  When I was a broke and overbooked college student, it was perfect for me. I could work from class (yep, did that!) or late at night, from my phone or from NYC if I so chose (and did).   A year after graduating though, I realized that personally and professionally, I wasn’t able to run a business and advocate for the intangibles you can get from the right workplace- colleagues, benefits, a steady paycheck, professional growth, work you love and a cause you believe in.

So, after running a solid freelancing business for nearly 2 years that I should have loved, I got a day job and I LOVE it.  I struggled with the idea that I was “quitting the dream” for over 6 months, but now feel solid in my decision and proud I could own up to what I really wanted, not what I thought I should want.

Sometimes, walking in your truth means you’re an iconoclast among iconoclasts- take ownership of your choices, and do work that you love, even if people don’t get it.

Love from the 9-5,

Shannyn

P.S. Lots of love to all of my freelancing friends that supported my decision and helped talk me through it without judgement or calling me a “cubicle slave,” (ha!) you all are amazing and I wish you the best of luck as you build your own successful businesses.  To the people that didn’t understand my choice, good luck to you too! haha!

P.P.S.  This blog (and BeautifulGiveaways.com) will still get all the love and attention it deserves and I will still offer Rockstar Blogger Coaching- but the bulk of my freelancing work via Cake Mix Media  has been phased out to refocus on blogging, social media management in my new role & coaching.

I’ve been in the new condo for about a month now and it’s finally starting to feel like home. I’ve come to notice that there are a few things that make a house feel like a home and not just a place you keep your stuff.

After three years and four major cross country moves, I’ve come to realize that there are a few key essentials that make a house really feel like a place you can feel confident unpacking all the boxes-  a true home.  I’m excited to finally put down roots and invest in some personalization, home decor and general craftiness.

1.  Bring your family into the space, even if they can’t be there in person

Until I unpack the pictures and put them on the walls and adorning the shelves, any place would feel like a hotel, not like home.  Right now, I’m fascinated by photo collages.  We’re planning a Route 66 themed wall collage with photos, state plates and road trip memorabilia.  I got a great deal on a set of black photo frames in various sizes from Rakuten.com which made the ideal grouping easy peezy.

I can’t wait to print out some of my road trip and family pictures that have been hiding in my camera and finally give them a home on my wall.  I’m hoping to have a ginormous collage that will tell a story and add warmth to the condo.  A space still feels like a hotel until you have the people you love staring back at you, even with art or fancy decor- it’s not home without people, even if they can’t all be there.  The only thing that makes the distance easy is feeling like you’re surrounded by the people across the miles, who love you.

2.  Good books that give your space personality

I feel that there is almost nothing that makes a greater statement about who you are than the books on your shelf.  To me, books are a prized collection, one that I prefer to cultivate with quality rather than quantity.  So, I very rarely buy books, instead I opt for the library and when a book is worthy of keeping, I seek it out to own.   There are a few books I’ve fallen in love with in the last few years that had to be purchased, and through several moves, I still couldn’t part with them.

Is it just me or are books more expressive than artwork? I feel that books not only tell a story about who you are, they’re an expression of the memories you have with them, unspoken time capsules that trigger memories of learning, stories and experiences only you could know when you see them.  Books are ot

3. Morning coffee

Smell is an important aspect of adding warmth and personality to a home.  While I’m a huge fan of scented candles and tea lights, no candle captures the  aroma of “morning” better than fresh coffee.  Without morning coffee, not only do mornings feel unbearable, but it doesn’t smell like home. Every time I’ve moved, I’ve always gotten a new coffee maker within a day or two if I didn’t have one handy.

Coffee is fabulous for early mornings to run or head to work, but on a relaxed Saturday, spiking it with some Bailey’s ain’t bad either.  Good memories around coffee make any house a home.

4.  A house isn’t a home until it’s covered in pug hair

Having pets has always been a part of my life- but it wasn’t until a few years back when I narrowed down the fur affection to just pugs.  When I went off to graduate school two years ago, I was assuming I’d be so busy with school I wouldn’t notice a lack of fuzziness in my life, but yet- I totally noticed.  The coffee maker, photos and books in my first “Chicago home” couldn’t make Chicago feel like home until I adopted Ralph. Two years later, Max came thundering into our lives, and the new digs are just right with dogs.

Honestly, sometimes homemaking would be less crazymaking without two furballs running around that shed year round, shred their toys and have a tendency to dribble food, water and treats all over the floor- but then again, who needs clean floors?

So, what do you do to make your place feel like home?

What’s one thing you always unpack first when you move?

$10 off $30 on Home, Health & Beauty, Sporting Goods, Bags, Entertainment, Apparel, Jewelry, Toys and Pet Supplies when you useV.me at checkout. Ends 5/26/2013.

I was provided product for this post from Rakuten.com to facilitate this post, but all opinions and editorial content is authentically mine.

I’ve been notoriously unhealthy and even more notoriously demotivated around fitness all my life. When I was 18 I pretty much though Frappuchinos were a basic food group and I the most exercise I had done ever done was a requirement for gym class.  Now that I’m a bit older, I realize that without health, you don’t have much!  I’m older, wiser and more health conscious, but I’m busier than ever.

Making positive changes in your life and implementing healthy habits doesn’t have to be a headache, but it will take some headspace.  Change doesn’t happen overnight, but here are some tips and tricks I’ve picked up on to make health a focus and make sure healthy habits stick!

1.  Start small & systemize your healthy habits

Many health gurus out there intimidate us normals- we see them going to the gym at ungodly hours and drinking nasty looking protein shakes- not something we could ever see ourselves doing.  If you want to become healthier, start small by either giving something up (like late night snacks that make you feel bloated) or adding something to you life. For me, I started making green smoothies in the morning and taking a multivitamin every day with lunch.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start small and choose something to give up (like smoking, eating until you feel bloated or soda) and adding something to your routine (like taking vitamins, going to bed earlier or going for evening walks).

2.  Find a form of fitness or activity that truly resonates with you

One of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin, wrote in her book, the Happiness Project, that part of being happy is to accept that certain things that we are told we should enjoy (like classical music, poetry or shopping) actually don’t make us happy and to accept that.  Often, we are told in the fitness world that we should hop on the lastest craze- aerobics, running, yoga, kickboxing since “everyone else loves it!” but if it doesn’t resonate with you personally- that’s okay.

Right now, I love running but the thought of doing yoga doesn’t excite me right now and that’s okay- not every activity is right for you, and it may not be right at this moment.  Just because a fitness trend has fanatics doesn’t mean it’s something you can get fanatical about- experiment until you find the right activity for you- even if it’s just going for hikes, walking the dog or swimming laps.  Find something that gets you giddy and you’ll be able to overcome the lulls in enthusiasm and stick with it.

3.  Discover what truly motivates you to change and create new habits

A year ago, nothing seemed to motivate me more than the thought of getting new shoes and earning my first half marathon medal.  At the time, I hated running and had so many bad experiences with it, but the idea that I would be rewarded with a unique piece of shiny bling and I’d be able to shoe shop to prepare for it truly stirred my soul.  Often, when times were tough or I felt discouraged, I’d look at a picture of the medal and knew I had to keep going (plus the half marathon ticket was non-refundable!) because I was just too excited by the prize to quit!

You may discover that you’re tired of feeling sick and tired, or perhaps someone in your life was touched by disease and getting fit would help you fund research or avoid a similar fate.  Of course, you can be motivated by a myriad of factors- the chance to have fun, look and feel better and do good for others, but you have to get clear on your goals and they have to be heart wrenching.   Simply “wanting to not be fat” or the other demeaning things we use to bully ourselves into getting fit is counterintuitive.  If you’re working out to lose weight, make sure you focus on the positive and all the things you’ll gain from a fitter-self, not just the weight you’ll lose!

4.  Enlist three kinds of help:  a mentor, a peer & supports

If you’re going to make any life change that will provide any kind of challenge (even if it’s just to give up soda) you’re going to need three kinds of people in your life to help make it a reality. First, a mentor- even if it’s just a blogger on the internet who has done what you wish to do, they can provide the necessary guidance and layout to make sure you set yourself up for success. Secondly, you’ll need a peer-  is someone you know, either a friend, coworker or family member doing what you want to do?  The important part of finding a “peer” is that you have someone to confide in who is at your level- someone who isn’t an “expert” but also isn’t totally indifferent to your personal challenge.  Whether you’re training for a marathon or simply trying to have salads for lunch- seek out someone who you can relate to as you transition to a healthier habit or overall lifestyle.

Finally, the support system in your life is crucial to any goal you set out for yourself.  The supports in your life include anyone that could either sabotage or bolster your success- your family and good friends.  These are the people that have the most influence in your daily life and have the greatest impact in making your healthy habits a sure thing.  Be sure that when you set a goal, they are aware of their role in your success, even in the smallest of behaviors.

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When I laced up running shoes for the first time a year ago, I had no idea how it would transform my life.  At the time, I couldn’t run a mile and in my 25 years had never run more than a mile but signed up for my first race as a way to motivate myself (and justify an impulse buy of cute running clothes).  Now, I have several half marathons under my belt, mud runs and countless miles.

I’ll be running in the Women’s Running Series this year- will I see you in Nashville?  If you’re looking for that first race to light or reignite your spark and commit to making health a habit in your life, this could be the race for you!

Get $10 off your Women’s Running Series Nashville Half Marathon registration with FITNSHAN(expires 9/28/2013)

Disclaimer: The Women’s Running Series is compensating me for this trip as a member of Fitfluential, but all opinions (and my reforming couch potato advice) is entirely my own.  

I’ve been running for a year now and I really haven’t gotten much faster than when I started. On a good day, I’ll run a 11 minute mile. On a really good day, I’ll run a 10:30 mile.  Most of the time though, especially if it’s cold or the lungs don’t cooperate, I run a 12-13 minute mile. I’ve done three half marathons, a dozen 10ks, and plenty of 5ks and I’m not fast.  I’ve come to realize I’ll never fit the definition of fast and measuring my race success on pace alone was holding me back more than anything physical has.

At first, realizing I may never be in the front corrals was totally defeating- I had been training to become “better,” and for a long time, my definition of becoming a “better runner” was so narrow I was missing the bigger picture.  Pace isn’t the only measure of success.

For much of the last year, I would enter a race with high expectations of a pacing miracle.  I would quickly get disheartened when I would be slower than  I’d hoped and it seemed like every runner that would pass me by was a personal tally to remind me how much I suck at running. Here’s the thing- you’re always faster and better than all the miles you refused to try before you committed to running.  You can’t compare yourself to any other runner out there, your body is your own unique machine, you are running your own story.

Additionally, many of us worry when we get into running that we somehow are going to be slow and get left behind.  Sometimes it feels like by getting out and running a race, we risked being exposed as frauds, or that we will have to face down how bad we suck in a public setting.  If we feel we’re going slow, we see the people passing us and one, by one, person by person,and  it feels as if we get further and further away from the “real runners,” and will soon be picked up, shamefully, by the race organizers and hauled off for being too slow.  We see the people in front of us, instead of the people by our side and behind us- and put more weight on the fast runners rather than seeing that we are in no way in the minority. Many runners are running at our pace and a bulk of every race is filled with normal or “slow” runners, so if you’re telling yourself you’re a loser for being slow, you’re in good company. We losers rule!

Here’s the thing- no matter how slow you are, you’re better and faster than all the miles you refused to take in your non-running life. You’re stronger for all the times you got off the couch and got out there on the days you didn’t want to run. You’re better for it since you got up early for race day, got dressed and went outside to face yourself down.

I’ve been running for a year. I’ve done half marathons. I still run at a 11-12 minute mile pace.  It’s okay to be slow. Come as you are. Just get out there and run against yourself, not that impossible standard you’re chasing.  

Someday, you may get faster- if so, great. But for today, if you’re struggling with your slowness, focus on how much stronger you’ve become. Stronger to fight the urge to quit. Stronger from early hours or late night- time spent sacrificing your old ways for something greater. Stronger for the hours spent to get through the miles in discomfort, in humidity, cold, rain, to power up hills and pace yourself for from start to finish line.  Stronger for listening to your body and claiming what you’ve got- every ounce, fiber, flaw and flab and bone.

Faster? Not always. But stronger? Better? Greater. Hell yes.  Run at your own pace, and don’t stop chasing the person you want to be no matter how long it takes you.  

I’m Shannyn. I still run a 12 minute average mile. I run slow and I kick ass.  You do too.

Attention Runners Of All Paces!  

I’ll be running the Women’s Running Series, Nashville on September 28th, 2013, who is with me?

Get $10 off your Women’s Running Series Nashville registration with FITNSHAN (expires 9/28/2013)

Disclaimer: The Women’s Running Series is compensating me for this trip as a member of Fitfluential, but all opinions (especially the part about being an awesome slow runner) is entirely my own.  

Many people roll their eyes when they hear someone citing the “power of attraction,” or the importance of a positive mental attitude-  ever since the commercialization of The Secret and the commercialization of self-help by what feels like a million “self help gurus,” many of us are rightfully annoyed by anyone piping up about all that “power of attraction” mumbo jumbo, I myself, am one.

For the past year, my life has undergone a complete overhaul.  This time last year, I was getting ready to graduate with my master’s degree in sociology and was totally deflated about the idea.  I had moved to Chicago two years prior to get my M.A. with the idea I would earn my Ph.D. and become a college professor, but within weeks of starting the program, I realized that I was walking down the wrong road.  I could see the path before me, crumbling at my feet as the economic and political realities of working in my “dream field” began to sour before my eyes.

By the time I was approaching graduation last spring (I finished the degree simply to get my money’s worth, apparently universities have a no-refund policy and you can’t put “1/2 a M.A.” on a resume), my whole life was in tumult.  I knew I didn’t want to be a professor early on in my program, so I began to build a blog and discovered a more applied sociological approach to work- I wanted to work in marketing, not academics.  I built the blog up enough to get me through school and launched my own social media consulting business, Cake Mix Media.

I knew that graduation was coming fast and that moving on from the rough patch in my life as a graduate student meant serious and swift change.  I was unsure of what would come but I had to have faith that anything would have been better than the life I’d been living-  on $800 a month, on dates that went nowhere, unsure about my career and hoping for more.

I had dreams I didn’t want to admit-  I wanted to have a partner I could depend on (yep, I wanted a boyfriend..and not just any boyfriend..a damn good one!), I wanted work that I loved, a place I could call home and the ability to travel, explore and experience the world.  Coming from two years of rough living on low income and endless course work I didn’t find fulfilling, this seemed like a lofty venture, especially to myself.
I wrote the below “Future Me” letter in February, 2012. I scheduled it to send on a random day a year later and totally forgot about it.  The email arrived in my inbox, the day I started my dream job as a social media coordinator for a racing company I’ve admired since I started running last year… (cue creepy music here).

As I write this letter- things in this note came true.  The email arrived on a date I randomly picked over a year ago- not knowing what the future would hold, and it arrived the day I started at my new company.

A year ago I was deeply dissatisfied that my life was “frugal” but not very “beautiful.”  I had been working multiple jobs as I grew my freelancing gigs, I was chronically underpaid and was living in a less than comfortable situation.  I often envied other bloggers that had a home of their own (even if it was rented, they made it feel like home) or had the extra income to do fashion posts, or chronicle their family vacations and fancy dinners.

At the time, I had to walk four blocks with a suitcase full of clothes to do my laundry- rain or shine.  I didn’t have insurance, a reliable air conditioner, a car and going to my favorite place to shop (Target) was a 40 minute train ride…and yes, I would carry everything back to the apartment.  Not to whine, but I longed for convenience, security and the things that most other people took for granted (like not having to lug back toilet paper and dog kibble in the snow after a long train ride, haha!)

I don’t write this post to boast- I am here in awe of how much things can change in a year if you sit down to admit what lacks in your life and commit to changing it.  I write this post to give you hope- if you’re not happy with how your life is going, own up to it.  If you “should” be happy, but you’re not (as I felt wanting to get a day job when everyone else seemed to be trying to strike it out on their own and bucking against the idea of a “day job”)  own up to your dissatisfaction, without judgement, and commit to changing your life- a year from now, you’ll be so surprised at how far you’ve come.  A year makes a world of difference…it’s a long time from now, but will seem like the shortest and most worthy year you’ve changed when you look back.

So…how has your life changed in a year?
Have you ever written a “future me” letter?