When Everything’s Wrong…Getting It Right With Forgiveness

March 27, 2012

you create beauty with your attitude

There is a lot of well-intentioned noise about there about the importance of self-love, self-esteem and the cultivation of your own sense of worth.  You gotta love yourself before you expect anyone else to and all that jazz.    It’s the kind of stuff made for  Pinterest, adorable and totally quotable.  On a good day you’ll be waving the banner of good juju and loving whatever normally makes you feel flawed.

But what about those other days?  What about the days when you wake up to a surprise?  New wrinkles, a rosacia flare up, pimples, cold sores, scars and that double chin that all of a sudden bothers you tremendously when your dress won’t zip up.  One little nuisance suddenly transforms into a whole array of body-hating-self-loathing.  How beautiful do you feel then?

Maybe you’re a beautiful vixen who never struggles with “those days.”  Let’s talk about money.  Those days when the credit card bill is due and you open the envelope only to hit the roof that you’ve overspent again, you forgot to pay a bill on time and got smacked with fees,  you owe someone money or your earnings were significantly less… you feel worthless.

Ugly, self-loathing, flawed and worthless.  Let’s have less of those days, shall we?

I know it’s been said a million times, but today it hit me again- sometimes when you look in the mirror and that moment hits you when you know you will be stuck in this body for the rest of your life, or, you are going to have to live with the mistakes of your past forever life can suddenly seem overwhelming.

Everything is so fixed- your body is what it is.  No amount of treadmill running will ever change the DNA you were born with.  Your financial situation can be improved, but no amount of good behavior can change the feeling of “cringe” that comes on when you think of your past financial blunders.  You can’t erase what you’ve been or who you are now.

This is why today I advocate for some forgiveness, some acceptance- and yes, love.   Everyone in the world can love you and say you’re pretty or tell you you’re forgiven- but if you’re walking around with the burden of self-loathing you’re lying to yourself.

The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even one’s own even more, one’s own, for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being.

-Katherine Anne Porter

I know some days it’s real hard to look in the mirror, your financial statement, your job performance review or whatever’s haunting you and simply forgive and accept yourself without letting images of doom & gloom play out in your mind.  You are greater than the sum of your parts, and any one of those parts doesn’t define the whole.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does to you, about you or for you, if you’re spinning misery in your head because of some “flaw,” and letting it dominate your whole self-image you’re in charge of changing the broken record.

There have been some issues that have been around since my childhood- both of the psychical and emotional natures.   Whenever they would be brought to my attention, I would be miserable for days until it was under control again.  I no longer let it take control of my life, but I assure you- some days it’s really hard to fight for happiness on those off days, but I’ve learned the importance of trying.  

If you’re feeling down on yourself, please take this kind reminder to advocate for your own happiness.  How you deal with flaws, mistakes, conditions or problems can only be made worse by how you let them play out in your life.  They will always be there, but you have to allow yourself room for forgiveness and acceptance so they do not take up more room in your life and dominate the beauty you possess.

Only you have the ability to cultivate the beauty within, nobody makes you carry the burdens of guilt/regret/insufficiency you create for yourself, and nobody cares about it as much as you yourself do.


I looked in the mirror this morning and knew this was the post I needed to write.  Let’s let go off the doomsday scenarios, the ripple-effect self deprecating thoughts and the cycles of despair we entrap ourselves in when it comes to our beauty and our wealth.

I know you’re a beautiful, wise creature-  but nobody can convince you of that but yourself.  I know some days you’ll have to fake it until you believe it, but trust me, when it clicks and you can change the mindset for good, you’ll have yourself to thank.

You’re beautiful, smart, and onto great things.  Take a minute to remind yourself of that, flaws and all!


5 comments so far.

5 responses to “When Everything’s Wrong…Getting It Right With Forgiveness”

  1. Francesca Holland says:

    Brilliant…simple…and utterley inspiring!! thankyou.x

  2. belowhermeans says:

    I needed this today. Thank you!

  3. Great post, Shannyn. I completely agree with this. You must change your attitude of yourself to grow, be of value to the world and succeed. I could read posts like this all day long. Thanks for that!

  4. teresa koedyker says:

    great article. thank for all your great articles. BG

  5. Jean Andrews says:

    “You gotta love yourself before you expect anyone else to..” Something that I have been repeating to myself over and over again. Thank you!!!


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