I grew up watching my mother ask for refunds, dispute credit card bills and fight with contractors. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, but if you tried to screw with her money, lord have mercy. My mother never yelled or screamed – instead she got really quiet and explained to whoever on the phone what was going to happen.
From her I learned what I was entitled to. If a company tried to screw me over, I knew I could dispute their transaction on my credit card bill. If a pushy salesman tried to sell me something extra, I learned how to say no. I learned how to remember what was included in my bill, so no one tried to double charge me.
Even now, my husband says I’m the best at getting what I want. So many women struggle making their voices heard and asking for things. If we have trouble asking for a discount for a slightly soft peach, then how can we negotiate our salaries?
Read below for my tips on getting what you want.
The first rule of getting what you want is not being afraid to ask for it. No one is a mind reader, and most people won’t give you something just because. If you buy a top with a slight mark, ask for a discount. If you bought a watermelon that was mushy on the inside, tell the manager.
Getting what you want requires confidence. You have to believe that you deserve whatever you’re asking for. You can practice what you’ll say beforehand or run it by a friend if you’re nervous. The more you try it, the easier it’ll get.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar is true for a reason. One time I was pissed about getting hit with a maintenance fee on my bank account. I called customer service, angrily asking for a refund. They refused.
I calmed down and called back. This time I was apologetic and polite. I got my refund back.
You don’t have to be a pushover. Say what you’re upset about and ask if there’s anything they can do. Usually the person on the other end is happy to help if you’re nice. When you spend all day talking to jackasses, an understanding person is like a ray of light.
Nothing’s worse than not having all the information you need. The better prepared you are to make your claim, the faster you’ll see a result. If you can provide evidence that you deserve a refund, then the representative will likely realize it’s easier to give it to you instead of fighting.
Whether you’re trying to return a dress that’s too small or get a fee waived, make sure to have your account number, receipt or whatever you need handy. Treat it like a professional transaction and be informed about what happened.
Most places want to provide good customer service. If you make it easy for them to do so, then you’ll likely get it.
When my husband and I were shopping for a suit for our wedding, we had an amazing customer service experience at J. Crew. They gave us an extra discount, helped us find a jacket online and had it express shipped to our house.
Yes, we were customers dropping more than $300. But they went out of their way to help us save money. After we got home, I wrote an email to J. Crew’s customer service, letting them know how well their employees behaved. I also posted something on Twitter, thanking the company for helping us.
I didn’t start shopping at J. Crew more, but I wanted to let the higher ups know that their employees did a good job. Often when a customer sends feedback about a particular store, those employees find out. Since you can’t tip retail workers, making them look good in front of their bosses is the least you can do.
That is so true! over the years I was always one of those guys that can’t make a demand and always give up for someone else. When I started to be less shy and ask for the things I wanted – I started to get them. always speak what is on your mind and you will begin to see a positive change in your life in no time.
So true! People aren’t mind readers and you don’t get anything unless you ask for it!
Great tips! I totally agree about catching more flies with honey than vinegar!
It’s SO true! Plus usually the person on the phone isn’t the one causing the problem, so it helps to be nice!
All of these are so true!! I’m always a little hard on myself but at the end of the day, if I weren’t I wouldn’t get things done or well, be so satisfied with my life haha.
xx, Pia
Very true! We all need to practice forgiving ourselves more, but being ambitious is always good!
“My mother never yelled or screamed – instead she got really quiet and explained to whoever on the phone what was going to happen.” The first thing that popped into my head was Liam Neeson in Taken explaining his very “particular set of skills” haha! Your mom sounds like a frugal bad-ass!
I also can’t agree more with all of your tips! Being nice while asking for something and then paying it forward is the ultimate kindness triple threat!
Oh my gosh that is the best compliment! I’ll have to show that scene to my mom haha.
Being nice is really key. I feel like if you don’t do that and keep asking for things, then you’re being ungrateful. We should all practice being kind more often (me included).
Thanks again for your kind words!
I am all about contacting a company after someone has done something awesome to help me! I always feel like especially in certain types of stores and setting those people are always overlooked and a majority of people are probably ungrateful and rude to that person.
So true! I know those stores usually pass on that information and it’s so important for those people to get recognized. Especially if they hear more complaints then compliments.
You definitely have to stand up for yourself (and your money) because if you don’t, no one’s going to do it for you! These are great tips. The only thing I’d add is that sometimes you need to go up the chain of command. If you don’t get the result you want from the first person, politely ask to speak to the manager or the person who is authorized to make those kind of decisions.
So true! Oftentimes there’s a limit to what the person on the phone can do for you.
Love this! Always a nice reminder everyone could use!