I wrote an entire post and deleted the whole thing on purpose. That’s serious business.
When you graduated, did you have any real clue what you were good at and what you could offer the world, or did you even have to bother to ask that question to the persistence I’ve insisted upon for myself? Not only am I graduating again, I’m graduating with an advanced degree and I have even less of a clue as to what I want or possibly could contribute. If anything, after two intense years of school cruxed upon developing one’s skills of critical analysis I’ve internalized the art. Worse still- I seem to have taken my school work home with me and will graduate with an expensive degree in “Thinking Far Too Seriously.”
I think I must have overdosed on Seth Godin, Jonathan Fields and all of the amazing blogs I read about entrepreneurship, being a linchpin and demanding more from life…what do they call that? Analysis Paralysis? It feels weird.
I absolutely love writing- I think I am in some way contributing something to the world, but I feel it isn’t enough. As much as I ponder what could be my last words, I just as often take my next steps knowing they could be the last time my feet touch this earth- was I at least heading to somewhere that matters?
Books that change lives matter. Companies like TOMS shoes, Three Avocados, FEED matter. Revolutionaries that write and teach but also live in their own big shoes like Pat Flynn, Ash Ambridge, Marie Forleo, Chris Guillebeau, Jenny Blake and Nathan Agin totally matter. Small start ups that revolutionize the way we communicate, do business and enable people to empower themselves through media and internet technology matter.
But crap, this is where the over-analysis of my schooling plays in…what exactly can I do that will matter and make a contribution?
“Work” and “Life” don’t have to be two separate spheres, where doing what matters; spending time with loved ones, contributing to charity, enjoying the sunshine have to be spent in our “off” hours apart from our creative contribution. I guess I just want them both to be the same amorphous ameoba of awesome that’s worth writing about. My life needs to be better blog fodder, but before it is- I need to figure out what that fodder’s gonna be.
I’m 25. I’m graduating and I’m tired. I pray that I can finally find a place to fit and that what I’ve got is something worth sharing. I hope there’s a company out there for me with a job description I can rock or rewrite, and if not, I pray I’ll be cool enough to strike it out on my own.
You are loved. Thank you for being a part of this.