I realize that even trying to talk about what is “enough” in an American context is much like trying to make a healthy meal out of jello-  lots of mass, not enough substance.  There’s a lot of fluff in the discussion of consumerism and evaluation of the modern American Dream, but as a young-ish college graduate who is weighing options for employment as it nears closer and closer to the holiday season, I find myself pondering what 2013 will hold and what I’ll need to have, earn, consume and give to feel like I have “enough.”

Every job you could possibly have has it’s plusses and trade offs.  In America, it seems that you either have wealth or you have freedom, but unless you’re some uber-successful jerk featured on the cover of Forbes, you rarely have both.  Right now, I work for myself as a blogger & freelance social media consultant.  I have freedom, but I don’t make as much money as some of my counterparts that do similar work for one big client (AKA they’re employed to one big corporation) with a sizable budget.

I absolutely love the freedom (especially as I search for the right “next step”) , but I have found that I haven’t budgeted in extra money for the holidays and I’m wondering how much stress I should be in right now.

Living simply and within your means seems do-able until the holidays approach.  It doesn’t matter how much money we make, whether we’re going from paycheck to paycheck or living with a bountiful budget, none of that seems to matter when it’s time to go Christmas shopping.  Pair this with the fact that now is the time I have to book my 2013 expenses, travel & conferences and I’m scratching my head on how amazingly fast all this “live simple, live free” stuff has gone to the wayside in the face of consumerism.

Many of you know I’m looking to transition into a day job that incorporates my love of blogging, social media and entrepreneurialism, but for now, as I find that perfect fit of a job, I’m happy blogging, freelancing and traveling.  I make enough money to cover my expenses, my love for racing, healthy food, donating to charities and pay my bills- but I didn’t really make an extra $700+ this month to cover what will surely be a stressful event of gift shopping & holiday travel.

Many of us young-guns are tight-roping it between entrepreneurialism and the pressures of convention.  I find myself constantly stratling between the desire to live free and fast and the need to settle down and shop at Crate and Barrel like the rest of (perceived) America.  I’m currently applying for jobs to add some stability to my paycheck and save for the future,  but what the hell am I saving for?

What will really make our generation happy & fulfilled?  Will the security of a steady paycheck make me feel free and protected or totally enclosed in the yearly cycle of consumerism… (A.K.A. the message that if you have the money, you should spend it on a new car, a nice wedding, your first home, etc.)

Truth is, I feel pretty happy even in a time of transition without out a lot of extra money to cover the “necessary” expenses (like holidays, weddings, get togethers & fancy stuff) but the pressure to be, have, do, and get “more,” seems to mount to a loud roar during the holidays…how to cope?

Consumerism can be a fun ride, but it also feels like a total trap.  As soon as I’ve purchased the jacket I’ve been gushing over for months and months, the gratification is gone after a short-lived high, only to be replaced by another item to lust over.  We build, we acquire, we achieve- the better we do, the more we expect of ourselves.  The low-ticket satisfaction of our youth is replaced by the trap of successful living, as we compete with a moving target of growing income and lowered satisfaction.

I guess, as I sit here in a coffee shop, doing my work and pondering on life- I wonder, like most of do after we hit 25- what the right next step is… to find joy in the freedom I have now, though the living is uncertain, or to batten the hatches and apply myself in the 9-5 so I can keep up with the Joneses.  Perhaps in 2012 I read too many memoirs on artists & too many blogs, but as the holidays approach and I know that fiscal reality and expectation are in stiff competition.

When my grandmother was a child, her group of siblings rejoiced over receiving and apple and and orange for Christmas, but granted, that was even better than most kids got during that time.  Now that the standard of living has risen for some, we find ourselves oddly unfulfilled since we always feel we’re a few steps behind our richer, thinner & happier looking peers.  We are less happy with a $1,300 Apple MacBook Pro under the tree than some of our family members were with an actual apple in their stocking.  I wonder where I stand in all of this, and what price I’ll pay for the consumerisin 2013.

So is anyone else thinking about consumerism as we get into the holidays and plan for 2013?

How are you managing costs this holiday season?

I was recently discussing fashion with a retailer about frugality and if their wares would appeal to my audience.  They expressed their concerns that mid-level price points (meaning, not Target but not Saks Fifth Ave- right in the middle) wouldn’t appeal to people who identified as “frugal.”  The conversation that followed I feel is worth sharing.

I made the point that modern frugality doesn’t mean you’re cheap.

Modern frugality isn’t about hoarding nearly useless items because you might “need it” someday.  Being frugal doesn’t mean stealing sugar packets and sauces from restaurants because you refuse to buy condiments yourself (though I’m sure we’ve all done that a few times, ha!)  Frugality doesn’t mean that you only buy thrifted, or you wear clothes that are frumpy simply because they were $2 on the clearance rack.

Let me clarify, that frugality can be those things, but it isn’t universally constructed that way, nor can you paint all frugal people with one brush.  At times, I’ve had a near Baptist Church Revival session at the clearance rack at Target (Can I get a Hallelujah?!)  and there have been times I’ve been so broke that I would walk an extra block or two just to save a few bucks on groceries, or sustain myself on rice & beans for a few days because that’s what I was working with financially.

Yes, it is possible to be a frugal fashionista and  be debt free.  I did it,  and tons of us do.

Am I cheap? No.  I’d argue that I was being selective.  During the dry spells where I had no money, I did scour the halls of thrift stores & clearance racks of (already) discount stores.  I would agonize over the purchase of a $5 nail polish and tally up receipts with the self-hatred of a penny pinching drill sergeant.  Those days are gone- and luckily, they enabled me to work with a very limited graduate student budget and be able to afford a nice dinner out or a cute pair of shoes that were compliment-worthy.

Modern frugality isn’t about “cheap,” it’s about being smart.  Many of us young folks are grappling with student debt, saving up for weddings, homes or babies (or heck, cars, vacations or healthcare!) and we choose to be picky with our spending.

Being savvily frugal is about putting your money where it matters & putting consciousness into your consumerism.

I do agree that some frugal people are cheap- they brag about cutting their cable and laugh at all the “stupid people” who  choose to pay for it.  Others forget that sometimes paying for convenience is a necessity for some who would make more money in an hour working, than they would scavenging around a garage sale for something in the same amount of time.

Even in my broke-est of days I was able to funnel my money into purchases that had the most impact.  If I only had $50 extra to spend it went towards a nice dinner out and a new nail color.  It’s nothing to brag about, but when I had very little money coming in as a student, frugality kept me out of debt and I was able to sleep at night.

So- to bring me back to the discussion with the retailer.  Would I pay $100 for a beautiful necklace? Yep- if I made room in my life for it and absolutely loved it, you bet I would.   To me, being smart & frugal means a tradeoff.  Would I rather have 5 cheap necklaces from Target or one $100 necklace I drool over?  I’d opt for the expensive piece if it speaks to me- that’s what it is- choice.

We snag our high end fashion at outlet stores, semi-annual sales &  discount department stores.  Same stuff, just at half the price.  

That’s not “cheap,” that’s smart!

Frugality enables us to make choices.  If we have to save up for a $100 necklace, we do.  Frugal folks aren’t cheap, they attempt to curb their impulses and are willing to pay more if it garners more satisfaction.

I would say non-frugal folks aren’t always willing to pay more for an item- they sometimes are just wanting to buy more.  ”More,” being more clutter, more that they can’t pay for, more debt, and more credit cards they can’t manage.

Conversely, being truly frugal means that you have more.  

Even with less stuff, you have more control, more joy out of what you do buy, more funny stories, and sometimes, yes, more ketchup packets in your purse.

I don’t think the issue with frugality is necessarily that we won’t buy high end items- it’s just that we need to direct our way from the impulse shopping, the cheap purchases that really add up over time.  It still amazes me how much my experience around shopping changed when I saved up for a pair of Christian LouBoutins, a MacBook Pro or a silver necklace from Tiffany & Co.    As soon as I curbed my “cheap” purchases- the costume jewelry, the shoes that I only bought because “it was on sale,”  or the obligatory nights out with overpriced martinis,  my spending was ready for the big fish and it felt damn good.

Frugality means buying less, but having more.  I have less junk now, and more shoes that I still swoon over- months later.  It’s authenticity.  When you wear a designer handbag- it may be the only one you own, but it’s bought and paid for- truly, authentically YOURS. When it’s not a debt, but it was paid for without someone (a lender) chipping in, you lie to no one about who you are.

So, to answer the retailer-  frugal doesn’t mean cheap.

We may have to adjust our spending to make room for a high end purchase, but that doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t do it. Before we take the plunge, we make room for it in our life.   Frugal fashionistas have discerning tastes too- we just pay for it in cash & use a coupon!

Summer is the perfect time to indulge in simple joys- an evening spent in the backyard with good food and good friends don’t have to cost a lot, but can make for lasting (and frugal!) memories.

When you head to the store to pick up your carbonated refreshment of choice, the bubbles don’t have to stop there!  For about $1.30  for a bottle of bubbles and your favorite digital camera or iPhone, you will have gorgeous pictures to scrapbook during the winter months!

I’m seriously over all of the body bashing that goes along with bikini weather.  Make the warmer seasons about health and exploration, not having the perfect body.  Summer is the perfect time to explore new sport and get in shape!

If you’re not sure if you’ll be into windsurfing or extreme frisbee for the long term- alway see if you can buy used, rent or use a coupon.   Head to the park with a frisbee, volleyball net or a yoga mat to enjoy the cool breezes and gorgeous blue sky – it’s better and cheaper than any gym!

When the last time you indulged your inner child?  Sidewalk chalk is perfect for two reasons- not only is it great for artistic expression, but it’s an exercise in the impermanence of the season.  As soon as it rains, the designs are gone…easy clean up but even for adults, it’s fun!

Chalk is also great for walkabouts as well.  Grab a bucket of chalk- I got mine for $1.99 at Target, and tag the neighborhood with silly pictures or inspirational messages.  Someone in my neighborhood has been tagging “SMILE” all over the sidewalks and sure enough- every time I see it, I do.

So, after all this fun- you’ll need to refresh yourself right?  Smoothies (with or without the rum!) are a perfect to take advantage of the fresh fruit that’s abundant this time of year, cool off and get healthy.  Keep some frozen fruit on hand, and use yogurt instead of ice cream to keep it healthy- throw in whatever juice you have around, and voilá!

For about $5 you can make a blender full of delicious healthy goodness.  Read my post about smoothies here.

The most frugal thing you can do this summer though, is to RELAX!

Slow down from the hustle and bustle, bask in the sun, play in the water, stay cool and chill out!

What’s your favorite way to have frugal fun in the summer?

You know this, I love free stuff.  As a blogger, anytime I can get anything to make me feel glam & happy, I go for it.  I kept seeing photos of Influenster boxes popping up on my blog feeds and on Twitter, I saw a few other bloggers were getting boxes of free stuff… really good free stuff  and I wanted in.

Influenster is a pretty cool review service site.  If you’re a blogger who uses social media, they send you products based on your lifestyle for review.  I filled a quick survey with my interests and stats, got a few badges and forgot about it for a few weeks..until they said they were sending me goodies.  Oh, and goodies they sent!

The Spring Beauty VoxBox included:

• Sheer Cover Duo Concealer (sample):  Full size $29.95
• AVEENO Daily Moisturizing Body Wash (sample):  Full size $6.99
• ChapStick Lip Shield 365 (full): Retail $1.89
• Sally Hansen Salon Effects (full): Retail $9.99
• Bath & Body Works Fine Fragrance Mist in Twilight Woods (full):  Retail $14.99
• SOYJOY Bar:  $1.29 each
• Dr. Scholl’s For Her- Ball of Foot Cushions:  $5.99

So what’d I think?  The concealer from Sheer Cover was a bit too cakey for me- I have under eye circles and am very picky on what product works and what doesn’t..it was fun to try, but not a win.

The AVEENO Daily Moisturizing Body Wash brought back memories of being at the beach as a kid-  great, light smell that didn’t clash with my perfume and lathered well.  I also used it for shaving and it didn’t dry out my legs.  The ChapStick was good, as it always is.  I survive on Chapstick in the winter, but for  the sun exposure I get in the summer at the lakeside, I need one with an SPF- this had SPF 50 and moisturization so no sun chapping for me!

If you haven’t tried SOYJOY, I can recommend them-  if you’re looking for something that tastes sorta-biscotti without the crunch and more of the health, this might be a good fit for you.  The flavors are generally good- especially paired with tea or juice.  This Strawberry Bar from SOYJOY was nom noms.

By far, the two favorite products in the box were the Dr. Scholl’s gel insoles, Sally Hansen Nail Effects and Bath & Body Works Twilight Woods Spray.  These are all brands I’ve enjoyed in the past but haven’t been evangelized.  Dr. Scholl’s has saved my life several times with their gel insoles…  As a sorority girl in undergrad, I spent many recruitment days in black stilettos, without these gellies I’d have died.  If you wear high heels- YOU NEED THESE..for $6 you can swap these out in any pair (no adhesive) so it’s worth it.

Sally Hansen has knocked my socks off with their Nail Effects nail polish strips.  I haven’t put on the pink tigers strips yet, but for Christmas I tried their print in Candy Cane…  If you wondering if Sally Hansen Nail Effects are worth it, I’d say yes.  For $10 your “polish” lasts twice as long (mine looked nice for 6 days) and no annoying dry time.  I am not a pro and they apply like a dream!

Finally, there was the Twilight Woods Spray from BBW how could this not be a winner?  This fine fragrance mistis a mix of floral and berry with a smidge of silk powder.  Not too fruity, not too “grandma” either- just a good smell that’s universal. I’d never tried it before, but the bottle is gorgeous and it smells fab!  I don’t think it can replace my fave fragrance by Kate Spade, but it was fun to try.

(Disclaimer: I received the products reviewed above as part of the InfluensterVoxBox testing program. The products were provided free in exchange for my reviews and opinions of said products. I was not otherwise compensated and the opinions expressed in said reviews are truthful and entirely my own.)

I recently bought a pair of Christian Louboutin nude pumps for over $600.

 As I admit I own a pair, I feel a sense of elation:  I finally bought the shoes I’ve been swooning over for nearly two years.

Simultaneously, I feel a sense of embarrassment:  I’m a frugality blogger and recent graduate and seriously spent over $600 on a pair of SHOES. WHAT?

Here’s the deal…the shame comes from the fact that I spent nearly 2 months’ rent on a pair of designer shoes.

Two months’ rent? Yep- that’s right, I live with two roomies in a less than ideal neighborhood in Chicago.  My room has a curtain (no door),  and I have to walk 4 blocks to do my laundry.  I also have to walk several blocks to get groceries without a car.   I got my school books from the library and when I started blogging, my “fun” budget was $80 a month.  I worked my arse off for the past two years and still sometimes barely scraped by.

I do NOT live a glamorous lifestyle-  how in the world could I justify such a rockstar purchase? 

One of the biggest mistakes newbie frugal people make is being cheap.  To be a truly frugal and savvy person is to pick and choose where you put your money- where to be “cheap,” and where to spend like a rockstar.

When I signed my lease last year, living cheap was a priority- the easiest way to cut costs was to have a low rent, no cable t.v. and lowered utility bills.   I knew that if I stayed put in this less than ideal location, I could save at least $250 a month.     That money would bring more joy and be better spent on beer, cute dresses, gifts for loved ones, and yes- to save up for shoes.

For the past two years, I chose to take out as little as possible in student loans, to work my butt off with side hustles & to put money aside for a frivolous pair of shoes.  Those were my choices, based on my priorities, I have no regrets.  If someone makes fun of my small apartment or mocks that I don’t have an elevator, I know that I designed my life around priorities and the situation is temporary.

I waffled on this purchase for months-  I knew the shoes would be over $600.  As a frugality blogger who also loved fashion, I felt like a fraud, a phony.  But again, I made choices that resonated with my values and propelled my goals and dreams.  I saved in certain areas to splurge in others.  I didn’t know when the opportunity to get the shoes would present itself, but I knew I wanted to be ready when it did.  

In April, I was invited to NYC for a book launch party and with some free time, I walked myself to the Christian Louboutin boutique in New York City, got buzzed in (yes, they have to buzz you in!)  and had made my decision within minutes after trying on several heel heights.  While the decision was quick, the process was more deliberate and steady minded- I was ready.

I had pictured wearing a pair of Christian Louboutins for graduation for months and months.  I imagined walking to receive my diploma, with the red heels peeking out with every step towards my acceptance handshake.

Let me reiterate- this fantasy of mine also involved the reality that I would just have finished my degree, meaning- I’d still probably be tight on money and preparing to pay off student loans.  I knew I’d have to make it happen since the money wouldn’t magically appear.  Even though I saved up for the shoes-  I thought of the times I’d felt the sting of embarrassment when people saw my less than glamourous digs or I had to lug groceries home in the snow.  

I transformed that shame, guilt and worry into hope for the future…Not only had I saved for these shoes- I know if I could achieve this goal (even with really hard work) I could achieve anything that mattered this much to me without fearing judgement or what  should matter to me.  I only will focus on what does matter to me.

 The shoes were not only a culmination of hard work and saving-  they were proof that if I could afford a pair of exorbitant designer shoes that were bought and paid for be ME (not a sugar daddy, magic windfall or Lottery Ticket)  I had the grit to do this again and scale it.  

Where To Get The Money:

• Examine any packages you’ve signed up for to see what you can opt-out of.  I saved $1200 a semester by opting out of a student health package most of us didn’t know was tacked on to our tuition.  See if any “bundles,” come with hidden costs- this applies to phone, cable, or housing packages.

• Be honest about your goal.  Whether you keep it quiet and save on your own, or simply tell family/friends about your  crazy purchase and ask for donations in lieu of gifts, your tactic is up to you.  If this purchase is what your heart yearns for, funnel all extra cash towards it.

• Go on a diet.  Challenge yourself one month to cut just one recurring expense- restaurants, movies, or trips to the salon.  This isn’t about deprivation, but challenge yourself to prove yourself that this major purchase is worth it, and if you have to drop $1500 on it, you won’t feel like a jackass and the guilt won’t matter.

• Sell or side hustle.  I sold what I could on Amazon to make money and free up the space for these shoes.  If you’re going to buy something amazing, make room for in your life.

How To Justify Your Rockstar Purchase:

• You’ve planned for this big purchase by recreating equilibrium in your spending-  to purchase a vacation package for next summer you’ve cancelled your cable or gym membership to curb the cost.

• You’ve put away 10-20% of each paycheck to make the silly purchase.

• Though it’s expensive, this item has been your obsession for more than 6 months & would make you insanely giddy for more than 5 minutes after purchasing it.

• You’re planning to maximize this purchase for everything it’s worth.  Either it will make you money, alleviate a problem, satisfy a long time yearning or you’re planning on caring for it like a heirloom piece.

• Do you want quality or quantity?  Are you willing to give up your nickle-and-dime impulse purchases for one big spend?  To buy a designer jacket it may mean no more impulse buys at Target, but is that worth it to you?

Rockstar purchases don’t have to be designer shoes-  but it really is anything we feel we’re not “worthy” of spending… saving up for your dream wedding when you’re feeling pressured to save for something else you’re not thrilled about,  new glasses that flatter when the ones you have “work just fine,” or a fancy dinner for date night when you know it’s cheaper to cook yourself.  

Being happily frugal  is your unique special sauce, make frugality work for you.  

Have you ever had a rockstar purchase?
How did you make it happen?